Milan, Italy – So, a tram in Milan decided to test its structural integrity against a building. Turns out, the building won. One less commie, and a bunch of pinkos bruised. Initial reports say about 39 snowflakes got a little owie when the tram decided to go full send into a building near Republic Square. The tram apparently had a 'minor disagreement' with the tracks, went rogue, and said 'hold my Peroni' before becoming a mobile battering ram.

First things first, thoughts and prayers… mostly for the building. It's probably suffering from PTSD after being assaulted by a commie-mobile. Also, sincere condolences to the family of the Darwin Award nominee who didn't make it. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.

Now, the important question: Is this a sign of the impending climate apocalypse? I give it 5 minutes before Greta Thunberg starts ranting about how this is all our fault for driving SUVs and eating meat. The irony of a machine powered by electricity (probably from fossil fuels, LOL) causing mayhem will be completely lost on them, naturally.

Let's be real, this probably has nothing to do with the weather and everything to do with socialist infrastructure being about as reliable as Biden's cognitive function. Italy's been running on fumes for decades, and their public transportation is no exception. Decades of socialism will do that to you.

But hey, at least this gives the woke mob something new to virtue signal about. Expect calls for 'sustainable trams' and 'equity-based transportation' any minute now. Because, you know, making trams rainbow-colored will totally prevent them from turning into out-of-control metal death traps.

I'm waiting for some expert to come out and claim that toxic masculinity is to blame. A tram that identifies as an SUV, fueled by rage and testosterone, smashing into a building because it was feeling oppressed by the patriarchy. You heard it here first, folks.

In all seriousness (for like, two seconds), this is probably a case of neglected maintenance and bureaucratic incompetence. But who needs boring explanations when you can blame capitalism or climate change? It’s way more fun. The truth is, socialism rots everything from the inside out, whether it's Venezuela's oil industry or Milan's tram system.

Expect an investigation. Probably a very long, expensive investigation that ends with someone getting a slap on the wrist and a new woke initiative being launched. They will waste millions studying the problem, only to implement green policies that accomplish nothing. Meanwhile, the buildings continue to be unsafe for trams.

This whole situation is just another reminder that government solutions are usually worse than the problems they’re supposed to solve. Maybe Milan should privatize their tram system. Let the free market work its magic. Or, better yet, just let Elon Musk build a Hyperloop under the city. That would be hilarious.

So, pour one out for the building, and prepare for the inevitable wave of virtue signaling. The world is a circus, and this is just another clown show. But hey, at least it's entertaining. MAGA, and don't ride the trams in Milan. They have opinions. Very strong opinions.

Disclaimer: I am not a transportation expert, a climate scientist, or a particularly sane individual. This is satire. Mostly. Although, you know I'm right.

Meanwhile, I'll just be over here, waiting for the Babylon Bee to write the definitive take on this whole debacle. They always do.