Okay, folks, buckle up because the Bill Clinton Epstein saga is back. Remember when the news broke and we were all like, "Wait, that Bill Clinton? The sax-playing, intern-wrangling, globalist puppet?" Well, surprise surprise, he's about to face a House committee. High-stakes grilling, they're calling it. Translation: lots of hot air, probably zero actual consequences.

Look, we all know how this song and dance goes. A politician gets caught with their hand in the cookie jar, the media throws a fit, a committee investigates, and then... nothing. Maybe a strongly worded letter. Maybe a resignation. But jail time? Accountability? Don't hold your breath. This is Washington, D.C., where the only thing thicker than the humidity is the layer of corruption that coats everything.

So, what are we supposed to believe? That Slick Willy, the guy who dodged impeachment like a ninja, is suddenly going to spill the beans about his buddy Epstein and all their… activities? Please. The only thing he's likely to spill is a well-rehearsed sob story about how he was just trying to help the children or some other garbage. The only accountability we'll get is the Dems calling us transphobic again.

And let's be real, the Dems are using this as cover. "Look, we're investigating our own! See how virtuous we are? Now ignore the fact that we're bankrupting the country with woke nonsense and open borders." Classic distraction tactic.

Meanwhile, back in reality, Afghanistan is starting beef with Pakistan (good luck, guys), and Savannah Guthrie (of The Today Show fame) is apparently handing out million-dollar bounties like candy. What is this, a movie?

Speaking of movies, Zachary Levi's got a new series and that bible show 'The Chosen' is STILL popular. Tells you something, right? People are hungry for truth, even if it's wrapped in a religious bow. Also, some woke airport is banning pajamas. Next they will come for our Crocs! This is the hill we will die on.

The question we should all be asking is this: who else was involved in Epstein's shenanigans? Because let's be honest, he wasn't operating alone. He had help, protection, and probably a whole lot of very powerful friends. Are we going to see them brought to justice? Or will they continue to sip champagne and laugh at us from their yachts? Don't get your hopes up. Just buy more ammo and remember, the system is rigged. Womp womp.

This all comes amid reports of government waste and Sarah Ferguson being dragged into Prince Andrew's mess. The world is on fire. All we can do is watch the circus and laugh before we cry.