LONGVIEW, Wash. — So, a paper mill in Longview, Washington, went boom. At least two less soy-latte-sipping liberals to worry about, allegedly. But seriously, folks, while the MSM is busy blaming 'greedy corporations' and 'climate change,' let's get real: this is probably OSHA's fault. (Okay, maybe not entirely, but play along).

Look, we all know how it works. A company tries to make a buck, some Karen reports them for 'unsafe working conditions' because someone didn't get their pronouns right, and BAM! OSHA shows up with a billion pages of regulations that nobody can understand. Businesses try to comply, get bogged down in red tape, and suddenly, BOOM! Workplace accident.

Now, I'm not saying safety isn't important. But when you're busy filling out paperwork and attending mandatory diversity training sessions, you're not actually paying attention to the real safety hazards. You're too busy making sure you don't offend anyone to notice the leaky pipe or the faulty wiring. Thanks, DEI.

Of course, the left is already screaming about 'corporate greed' and demanding more government regulation. But let's be honest, government regulation is the problem, not the solution. The more the government interferes, the more messed up everything gets.

What we need is less government, more freedom, and a whole lot more common sense. Let businesses run their own operations, let workers take responsibility for their own safety, and let the free market sort things out. Sure, there might be a few accidents along the way, but that's the price of freedom, baby!

And let's not forget about the real victims here: the shareholders. These brave patriots invested their hard-earned money in this company, and now they're going to lose everything because some virtue-signaling bureaucrat decided that a paper mill needs a gender-neutral bathroom on every floor.

So, next time you hear about a workplace accident, don't automatically blame the corporation. Ask yourself: what role did government regulation play in this tragedy? And remember: freedom isn't free. Sometimes, it costs a few lives. But it's worth it. Trust the plan. WWG1WGA.

Now, someone get me a beer. This woke world is exhausting.

Also, where were the safety inspections? Probably canceled due to 'equity' initiatives. Just saying.