So, Maliki wants back in the PM saddle in Iraq? The U.S. is predictably facepalming harder than Hunter Biden at a spelling bee. Apparently, the guy who helped pave the way for ISIS isn't exactly on Washington's Christmas card list. Who could have seen that coming?

Maliki, the architect of sectarian strife and all-around bad decisions, thinks he deserves a comeback tour? It's like asking the captain of the Titanic to pilot your cruise ship. Remember how smooth that went? His reign, from 2006-2014, was basically a masterclass in how to alienate Sunnis, empower extremists, and generally make a mess of things. Good times.

Now, Uncle Sam's chiming in, waving its hand like a disapproving parent at a kid's birthday party. 'Nah, fam, we good,' they’re basically saying. But let's be real, does anyone actually listen to what the U.S. says anymore? We’ve been 'advising' and 'assisting' in Iraq for two decades, and the place is still about as stable as a toddler on roller skates.

What's the real reason for the U.S. objection? Probably a mix of things. Part of it is optics – can't exactly cozy up to a guy who's practically a meme for political incompetence. Another part is probably about Iran. Maliki's always been a bit too friendly with Tehran for Washington's liking. You know, the same Tehran we're still trying to figure out what to do with. Sigh.

Will the U.S. stance even matter? Probably not much. Iraqi politics are a byzantine labyrinth of shifting alliances, tribal loyalties, and outside interference. Washington's just another player in the game, albeit one with a bigger bankroll and a penchant for accidentally setting things on fire.

Bottom line: another round of the same old song and dance in Iraq. The U.S. pretends to have a clue, local actors maneuver for power, and everyone else just tries to survive the chaos. Remember when they said this was going to be over in months? Good times.

Grab some popcorn, folks. This is gonna be a long, bumpy ride. At least we can meme about it later, right? Maybe we can deepfake him into the Dancing Baby video for old times sake.

So grab your tactical gear (or comfy chair) and watch the fireworks, because this soap opera never ends. Just keep telling yourself this is somehow promoting 'democracy' and you might just make it through the night.

Pro-tip: Invest in a good VPN. Might need it soon.